Dr. Andrew Mohanraj

                

Associate Professor Dr. Andrew Mohanraj,   Consultant Psychiatrist,

Dr.  Jessica Merkel-Keller, Psychiatrist, Johns Hopkins Hospital, United States

 

How one can overcome the grief of losing almost the entire family at one time,so suddenly.

The manifestations of grief may last a life time but usually clears within 6 months and one year. Usually, reassurance and social contact helps a person to heal. (Andrew)

A sense of well being is a very difficult thing to define, but one can perceive when a sense of well being has been lost. Feelings of low mood, guilt, poor concentration, decreased energy, disrupted sleep, poor self care, changes in appetite, may accompany an overall sense of disconnectedness when a person grieves.  The literature indicates that people who persist in their daily actives and have structured time tend to do better than the people who withdrawal from their social world.   (Jessica)

He claimed that he has not realised the impact of the loss as he has been focusing on his son in the last month.

For a parent, the loss of a child is a more intense experience then the death of an adult, even a spouse.  In this case, the surviving father may have overwhelming feelings of guilt and helplessness. A bereaved person may undergo several stages of bereavement similar to the theory of stages of death and dying by Elisabeth Kubler Ross which talks about the stages of shock, denial, anger and finally acceptance of the loss.

The father may be in the denial stage.  Soon he will begin to feel the pain of the loss and will start feeling angry.  Usually this will lead one to feel that one is the unfair victim of fate and keep asking himself “Why me?” (Andrew)

How harmful can unattended grief be?

Grieving a loss is natural part of life; however when the grief prolongs, a person’s ability to function in their personal and working life may be compromised.  There is nothing inherently pathological about grief, except when it limits a person’s ability to be a part of the fabric of their community. (Jessica )

What is anticipatory grief?

Anticipatory grief occurs when a person fears an upcoming loss, and begins a grieving process even before the loss occurs. (Jessica)

With regards to the son, the father had said that he cries a lot when he sees familiar faces, he also cries on his own sometimes and the father believes this is his way to express his emotions as he is still not able to speak.

For the son, this can be a very devastating experience. There are several phases of bereavement in children. First, there is the protest phase in which there is a strong desire to connect with the deceased parent. This leads to the despair phase which is characterised by hopelessness, withdrawal, crying spells, and apathy.  Then the child undergoes a detachment phase in which emotional attachment to the dead parent is relinquished.  A child at the age of two will most likely move on to the next stage which is transfer the need of a mother to one or more adults. (Andrew)

What would be the actual reason that he is crying?

Crying is an expression of an emotion. It may also be cathartic, in that it provides a release. Crying allows to externalise our emotions, and with it we may gain needed support. (Jessica )