Man is a social animal and yearns for connection and belonging. In fact, connecting and socialising with others promotes good mental health. Loneliness can not only adversely affect mental and physical health but also worsen existing psychological distress. Some people suffering from low self-esteem or depression can bond with others and pull themselves up from slumps in their mood. Social media provides a platform for convenient and immediately gratifying opportunity to connect with others. It also provides the opportunity to reconnect or keep in touch with friends we have met before. Therefore it provides an excellent prospect to preserve relationships that would have otherwise been lost .An incredible number of like-minded people can connect with each other with a touch of a button, and express empathy with each other or with a common cause.
However, with the rise of social media, there are concerns many people appear to be substituting virtual, online connections for real-life, social relationships. Such “online” and “virtual” friendships can often leave one frustrated and struggling to connect on a deeper, more emotionally meaningful level.
People tend to appear their best while interacting on social media. Displays of emotional weakness, insecurity, or irritability tend to be camouflaged on social networking sites. Social media cannot truly reveal qualities that define deep, intimate friendships as such relationships are only possible with real life emotional and physical closeness. Real life relationships usually take time and effort to develop. Online friendships can develop easily but they can also be broken off as hastily and this can cause devastating consequences in lonely and vulnerable individuals.
Striking a balance seems to be the key to avoid disappointments. Social media can never be a true substitute for real life interactions. It can however, supplement and strengthen a real life relationship which provide deep and lasting emotional closeness. So do seek out friends’ online, reconnect with old friends and childhood buddies but not at the expense of seeking out real life relationships.
A word of caution when it comes to online romance. When purely online relationships lead to romance, several warning signs need to be kept in mind. Firstly a confession of love itself should already raise a red flag .Rarely is there such a thing as feelings of love from someone you have only met online .If someone professes love , it is a scam unless proven otherwise . Remove the emotion factor and try to look for inconsistencies in the content of the communication. You may detect an ulterior motive behind the profession of undying love. Introduce the online suitor to a friend or family. They are usually better in detecting scams because they are less likely to be clouded in their judgement.
Dato’ Dr Andrew Mohanraj
Member, Mental Health Promotion Advisory Council,
Ministry of Health Malaysia
Dr. Andrew Mohanraj 